Dumb or Innocent?

I don't know what happens.But all of the sudden I remember embarassing moments back at elementary school.
The tears I showed him and entire class.
The things I did to make him look at me.
But I do realise something.
I thank him.Really.
Because if he wasn't there in my life.
I wouldn't change my shy personality into how I am today.
I wouldn't open my eyes to fashion like I am right now.
I wouldn't have many friends like I do now.(I used to be alone all the time.I always kept my head down)
So,thank you.
Although I couldn't reach you,although I couldn't be with you nor seen by you.
I guess,I'm thankful enough that I met you in the first place.
I thank enough that you realise I was exist.
It's sad really.
It's horrible that up till now.
You're still my number one.
But you..You already dated 8 girls back when we were at 6th grade.
That's why I always feel small near you.
Small in size too.LOL
Well.that's all I want to say.
Maybe if I succeed at what I am trying to do.
I will forget you.We will walk on a different path,won't meet each other for years.
What I mean by forget is that I won't cry everytime I see you.
But I promise I will never forget what I had with you.
Because no matter what happen in the future,I know that you will have a special space in my heart.
Deep deep inside.
Where no boys in this whole wide world can take it from you.
You are my first.
The first to make my heart beats 3 times faster,the first to make me happy everytime we talk,the first to make me shy,to make my face red,to make me cry,and to make me own the world when you invite me to your house.
^^